"These words will be windows"

Trying to express the unimaginable feeling of a loved one held hostage in words. For the 2 years and 2 months Josh was held captive by the Iranian regime, words were woefully inadequate to describe my feelings. Though I was his voice and I called out for his FREEDOM every moment of every day, when it came to expressing my feelings, I embodied the silence imposed on him. I was full of words I could not say, feelings beyond words.

Words still elude me when I try to capture my journey since he was released. I am full of unfinished thoughts, incomplete sentences…words I cannot say, words that don’t exist.

A beautiful friend encouraged me to find words and to share them at a gathering of friends at his home. These are the words I spoke. As Josh said when he started writing a book to tell his story, “These words will be windows, not walls.”

Ocean of emotion

We were two rivers of life

with intertwined tributaries

flowing in parallel

unable  to meet

When you were FREED

our rivers converged

into the crashing waves

of an ocean

of collective emotion

We crash against each other

and pull apart

with the waves

We swim to the surface

fight to stay afloat

We reach for each other

then try to let go

We forge

our journeys forward

our own rivers

emerging

from our ocean

the source of

our strength

Our collective heart

To: Josh Fattal, Subject: Wow

This morning, I watched a video of Josh, Shane and Sarah speaking outside San Quentin prison in California. I was so deeply moved by a combination of pain at hearing more details of their suffering at the hands of the Iranian regime, and pride at their incredible strength and ongoing commitment to justice for all. The best thing we can do with our suffering is channel it into compassion for others that drives us to minimize their suffering.

After watching the video, I was compelled to email Josh to express my feelings. And I am compelled to share that email here as a follow-up to my communication with him that I shared with you when I couldn't share it directly with him. Another step in my resistance to the Iranian regime's attempts to disconnect us. Because connecting with each other makes us stronger every day.

----------
from: Farah N. Mawani
to: Josh Fattal
date: Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 12:04 PM
subject: Wow

Hey J,

I just watched a video of your speech at San Quentin. Wow.

It pains me to hear about your mistreatment (to put it mildly) and especially to know that they withheld all your letters from friends and supporters.

BUT, most of all I feel SUCH pride knowing how strong you remained and how you fought for yourself in the most unimaginable situation.

And SUCH pride watching you speak SO strongly in front of the crowd (without reading your speech!) and engaging them so effectively.

I remember when I used to watch Alex speak with such ease in front of crowds at our vigils and protests, and think about how you were different. That you were quieter and not as confident (more like me :) - but wow, now I see you taking and OWNing your voice! It makes me emotional (sorry :) and so, so, so incredibly proud.

You continue to be an inspiration to me.

Lots of love,

Farah

-----------

See the following links for some of my communication with Josh while he was held hostage by the Iranian regime, from most recent to earliest.

Dear Josh (audio)

500 Days without FREEDOM

Fragments of bridges

Dear Sarah, Shane & Josh - My Hope for You 

DAY 330: Bowen Island Hike 'with' Josh

Josh, I hope you can hear me (video)


And here is a note Josh wrote to me during our time living and working together, before he was captured and taken hostage by the Iranian regime.

Spiraling Journey

Five Months of FREEDOM

Yesterday marked 5 months of FREEDOM for Josh, Shane, Sarah and all of us who love them and devoted every cell of our beings to fight for their FREEDOM. I have held to my vow to only write the word 'FREEDOM' in capital letters to better represent its critical importance to life. It is an indescribable feeling to be marking months of FREEDOM rather than months of captivity. I wish we could have global celebrations to mark each of those months, as we had vigils, rallies and protests to mark the months and years of captivity. But I know that people around the world are celebrating each day of FREEDOM with us. And most importantly, I can celebrate those markers WITH Sarah, Shane and Josh. I'm still absorbing that - yesterday I texted Josh a 'Happy FREEDOM Anniversary' message. It took me the entire day to remember that I could do that. The FREEDOM to text, to communicate, is something I will never take for granted again.

The transition to FREEDOM is not an easy journey. We are all processing so much, feeling so much that we had to hold back in order to direct our focus and energy to our fight. One of the most frightening feelings I had after Sarah, Shane and Josh were freed was the uncertainty of what the next days, months and years would bring. The fear was partly due to growing accustomed to living with daily and hourly uncertainty for the 2 years and 2 months of their captivity. It was partly due to the dramatic shift in my identity that I anticipated - from a FREEDOM fighter to...I wasn't sure what.  I longed to get back to parts of my life and myself that I had to neglect while fighting for Sarah, Shane and Josh's lives but I knew that I had been transformed. I knew that I needed to somehow integrate my traumatic and transforming experience into my life's journey, but I didn't know how best to do that.

Fortunately, my journey is unfolding organically with some hard work thrown in. The way in which I spent the 5 month anniversary is a good illustration of that. I spent the morning advising two political prisoner campaigns on organizing coordinated global actions, based on my Free the Hikers experience. I then went to a conference focused on addressing access to care for individuals living in Canada without health insurance.  I brought a guest, who I met through the Free the Hikers campaign, to help expand his networks.  It was wonderful to introduce him to long-time colleagues and friends as I reconnected with them post-Free the Hikers.

My worlds are colliding and merging into one land mass. There are still fissures and fractures in that land mass that I hope will mend in time to provide me with the solid ground I need to be my strongest self. I left the conference early for my weekly trauma therapy session, where I confronted and expressed some of the ongoing pain associated with Sarah, Shane and Josh's hostage-taking. While running some errands afterwards, a bright butterfly-covered scarf caught my eye.  I wear it today to honour my ongoing transformation and to remind me that Spring is coming and with it hope for new growth sprouting from the merging ground of my former and transformed self.

Put a Little Love in Your Heart

Okay, I’ll admit, I have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. Like many, I’m not a fan of the commercialization of love. I do, however, feel that a reminder to reflect on the importance of love in our lives, is not a bad thing. I’ve had intensive opportunities to reflect on love over the past few years. I was driven to fight for FREEDOM for Josh Fattal by love. Love for him, love for justice, love for truth.

Whenever my faith in justice, my faith in truth, faltered, I turned to this quote from Gandhi: 

"Truth triumphs over untruth. Love conquers hatred.”

It reminded me of my deeply held belief. It kept me fighting towards our goal, no matter what curve balls were thrown our way.  No matter what hatred was thrown our way – by the Iranian regime and their agents, and more shockingly by members of the general public. Even when dealing with the Iranian regime, love did conquer hatred. Truth did triumph over untruth.

My pain associated with the loss and fear of loss of Josh, though excruciating, connected me more deeply to the love behind that pain. We so often realize how much love we feel when we lose someone or are at risk of losing him or her.  I did lose the ability to communicate with Josh in any way whatsoever for 2 years and 2 months. In this world of telecommunications where we can communicate instantly and simultaneously by text, email, phone, video, Facebook, twitter, etc., being completely cut off from someone I was with all day every day for months beforehand, was like losing a part of myself. 

Now that he’s free, my heart, that broke a little bit more every day of his captivity, is slowly mending, and rejoicing in his FREEDOM, his LIFE.  My heart is gradually growing as I absorb the FREEDOM of Josh, Shane, Sarah and all of us whose hearts were held captive with them.

But as I try to recover and reconnect with my loved ones and my life outside of FREEDOM fighting, I’m facing other losses – the loss of the intensely close Free the Hikers family that formed to FREE Sarah, Shane and Josh, the loss of Alex, the other half of my campaign-self, and the loss of the Josh I lived with and the me that lived with him. Josh and I are now separated by living for 2 years and 2 months with an impenetrable wall between us, and by thousands of miles.

As all of us in the extended Free the Hikers family are going through major lifelong transformations, I’m also faced with other unexpected losses.  There are big changes in my immediate family that affect us all. And the father of two of my oldest friends is dying.  It is so difficult for me to absorb that, let alone write that.  My father left my brothers, our mother, and me when I was a child. My friends’ father is like a father to me. He consistently expresses great pride in my accomplishments, and glows with pride at my Free the Hikers accomplishments and my ongoing Human Rights work.

Knowing that someone you love is in physical and/or emotional pain and not being able to do anything about it is excruciating.  Dealing with losing them on top of that is unbearable. The next hardest thing is sharing the pain with the people closest to them. Those were the hardest parts of the Iranian regime holding Josh hostage. They are the hardest parts of Cam’s suffering.

Knowing that Alex was suffering indescribable pain during Josh’s captivity, pain that I could not alleviate, was almost impossible for me to bear.  And now I’m watching two of my closest and oldest friends deal with the threat of losing their beloved father, while I too am faced with his loss.

I can’t prevent his loss so it’s extremely difficult to know how to help him and how to help his family. Like my experience on my journey to FREE Josh, Shane and Sarah, I know that being there for the journey, in whatever way I can be, is the most precious gift of all.  That is love. Being given and received.

May you all give and receive love today, and every day.

Put a little love in your heart.

With love,

Farah

Giving Thanks to All of You for FREEDOM

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” ~ Nelson Mandela

I will forever be grateful for Josh, Shane and Sarah’s FREEDOM. After fighting for their FREEDOM for 2 years and 2 months, I can only write the word in capitals. Through the struggle for it, I have come to realize how central it is to life. It is impossible to feel FREE oneself, when the FREEDOM of loved ones is curtailed.

I am still acutely aware of Josh, Shane and Sarah’s acts of FREEDOM – their ability to send emails and texts, make phone calls, post tweets and facebook messages, and most importantly BE with their loved ones, connect directly with their global supporters and choose their life paths. Being able to advise them on social media and public engagement, and helping them launch their own social media voices is beyond what I was able to imagine when they were captive and unable to communicate via any means. 

I also feel immense gratitude to them for inspiring me to fight for their FREEDOM and that of others, and to do so lovingly and peacefully. Their strength, wisdom and compassion continue to inspire me every day as we recover from the trauma of the past two years and carve a new path forward.  After more than two years of working so hard to represent them and be their voices, being able to work with them directly to carve a path forward together is an indescribable reward. It is a reward that I would not have without the hard work of the Free the Hikers team nor the unwavering compassion and support of my family, friends and supporters around the world.

The Free the Hikers team was formed and grew organically as family, friends and supporters of Josh, Shane and Sarah came together to fight for their FREEDOM. I am so thankful for Josh’s family, who welcomed me as one of their own, expressed remarkable care and compassion for me at the most painful time of their lives, and inspired me with their incredible and unshakeable strength, courage and resilience. I am especially thankful for Josh’s brother Alex, who was a lifeline for me.

Alita Holly, an old family friend of Sarah’s, became a sister to me as we worked together through our shared trauma to build Free the Hikers’ online presence. Alita’s remarkable creativity and technical skills were the perfect complement to my passion for engaging and mobilizing people. She built the tools I used to engage people around the world, and she continues to be there for me during this challenging time of transition.

David Marcus, a friend of Shane’s, held up the website fort so beautifully, even when his second daughter was born. He was always such a pleasure to work with and share joys and frustrations with. It was especially comforting to be able to share New York City campaign events with him in person. Helaine Alon, a friend of Josh’s, made it possible for me to centrally coordinate global vigils and events for Sarah, Shane and Josh. 

Former students of Josh and I were there throughout the painful ordeal, to remind me of the community and history we share with Josh. Many of them contributed immensely to the campaign even as they were going through many important and challenging transitions in their own lives. It gives me great pleasure to hear of them gradually reuniting with Josh, and I long for us all to have a big joint reunion soon.

I am most proud of, touched by and grateful for the diversity of support we built together. We had unwavering, loving support from The Swiss Ambassador to Iran, Livia Leu Agosti, and her colleagues. We also had a fearless Iranian lawyer, Mr.Masoud Shafii, who risked his own life and safety to fight for justice. We are very saddened that the Iranian regime is now restricting his freedom by confiscating his passport and preventing him from traveling freely.

We also had support from global leaders (e.g. Secretary General of the United Nations Ban Ki-Moon), political leaders (e.g President Obama, Sec of State Hillary Clinton, Sultan Qaboos of Oman, Presidents of Iraq, Turkey, Brazil, and Venezuela), high profile public figures (e.g. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Noam Chomsky), celebrities (e.g. Sean Penn, Mia Farrow, Muhammad Ali, Yusuf Islam, Deepak Chopra and his family), international organizations (e.g. Safe World for Women, careif, Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, Witness), Online communities (e.g. Intent.com, care2), and people all over the world. People of all ages, from different cultural and religious backgrounds, with different political beliefs came together with the common goal of freeing Sarah, Shane and Josh. They supported us by organizing events, donating funds, wearing FTH t-shirts and jewelry, signing petitions, writing letters, creating banners, posters joining us on Facebook, twitter and YouTube and spreading the word about Sarah, Shane and Josh. I would not have been able to do any of what I did without them nor my family and friends.

My sister Salina was and continues to be a lifeline for me. She is there for everything I need, from invaluable assistance with Free the Hikers social media accounts and global events, to a shoulder to cry on, to someone to share the joys of FREEDOM with. I am thrilled that she wants to take what we learned and built together forward together.

My mother provided unconditional and immense love and support throughout the ordeal and was the one person in my physical environment who had spent time with Josh, and understood the magnitude of his loss, and was incensed by the injustice against him. She also felt great compassion for the suffering of Josh’s family, and a special protectiveness of Alex.

I am also grateful to my two brothers as the profound impact of my prolonged separations from each of them during our very early childhood, drove me to do everything in my power to reunite Josh and Alex, and to be there for them in whatever ways I could during their heartbreaking separation. My niece and nephew amazed me with their ability to understand the gravity of the injustice and the pain it was causing me enough to take whatever actions they could, despite their very young ages.

Countless other family and friends of mine, and family, friends and supporters of Josh, Shane and Sarah were there for me just when I needed them most; with energy for campaign action, kind words, or a home to share. From Karen Leigh, who reached out daily from all corners of the world, and wrote articles that so aptly captured the pain and loss experienced by Josh's loved ones, to Stephanie McCabe, who helped me to realize my vision of our film, “Josh Fattal: 444 Days in Iran…and counting”, to Karim Bardeesy, who wrote editorials about Sarah, Shane and Josh in our National newspaper, the Globe and Mail. I am especially appreciative of friends of Josh, Shane and Sarah, who are stepping in now to express gratitude, offer me emotional support and share this transformative journey.

Sharing this incredible journey with all of you is something I’ll never forget. Every supportive action and communication of yours has moved me and given me the strength to keep up the fight - and has made it possible for me to be reunited with Josh, Shane and Sarah. Endless thanks to all of you for that. You have changed my life. I hope that you can all feel the gratitude I express to you directly and indirectly every day.

Like Sarah, Shane and Josh, I hope that we can continue to support each other and work together for change.

Farah 

Co-founder and Online Organizer

Free the Hikers

Dear Josh

My mother and cousin Salina holding banners in Toronto

I haven't posted here for some time. As each day passes with Josh remaining captive in Evin Prison, Iran, I become more speechless. Speechless at the injustice. Speechless at the pain. It has now been more than two years since I have seen, spoken to, hugged, or heard from Josh. I continue to think of him and fight for his freedom every day. I am unable to write to or call him and he is unable to write to or call me. I write to him and speak to him anyway, in the hopes that he can somehow feel me with him. I am posting a couple of previous audio letters here now and will post a new one soon.

Nowruz: Hope for a New Day for Shane and Josh

My community, family and I celebrate Nowruz (or Navroz as we call it) along with Iranians around the world.  Growing up in Canada, where our religious community’s holidays were not marked in mainstream society, I struggled to navigate the two disparate worlds I lived in. It was often difficult for our family to adequately celebrate our special days when we didn’t have public holidays to facilitate us coming together.  So we began to take advantage of the public holidays we do have to celebrate together.

Navroz, however, always felt particularly meaningful to me.  It just made sense to me to mark the beginning of a new year on the first day of Spring, a time of rebirth and renewal. It made sense that the word ‘Navroz’ meant ‘new day’. It always felt like a time of renewed hope and endless possibilities. I loved celebrating that with my family and community, and with my Iranian friends and colleagues.

Since Sarah, Shane and Josh were captured and detained, it has been impossible for me to feel the joy of the new day that Navroz brings. It has been increasingly difficult for me to hold onto hope as the nightmare of Shane and Josh’s imprisonment continues to almost two years. I feel a dark cloud hovering over me, rather than the rays of sunshine I used to feel at this time of year.

This year, I did mark Navroz with my community, but Shane and Josh were ever-present in our minds and hearts. I went to the celebration with my cousin who has just moved back to Canada from working in the Middle East for many years. So we talked about Shane and Josh on the way to the celebration. She asked me how I manage to maintain the fight for their freedom. The only answer I have is “They just have to be free. And I just have to keep doing whatever is in my power until they are.”  At the celebration, I ran into a couple of old friends. One of them said “I just got back from Ukraine last night. I saw the news about Muhammad Ali’s plea for Shane and Josh’s freedom in Kiev!”  Soon afterwards, I ran into a colleague, and the first thing he said, even before “Navroz Mubarak,” was “What’s the latest news about Shane and Josh?”  When I told him that there was no new news, he shook his head, remarking on his memory of our Navroz hope last year.

It seems appropriate that it is snowing today in Ottawa. The new day won’t really be here until Shane and Josh are free. In the meantime I take solace in the support and solidarity I have from my family and community.

My cousin Salina has been an especially invaluable support to me and to our campaign as a whole. I asked her to share her Navroz reflections along with mine:

Salina Abji: Navroz has always been a special time of year for me. I remember how, as a young child, I would look forward to egg painting and scavenger hunts, receiving gifts from my mom and dad, and getting dressed up and going to community celebrations where there would be prayers followed by food and dancing. As I grew older, I learned about the deeper significance of Navroz. This was not only a time for celebration, but also a time for reflection. This was not only a time for sharing joy with family and friends, but also a time for forgiveness and compassion. 

Last year for Navroz, I prayed that Iran would release Sarah Shourd, Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal on compassionate grounds. In August last year, I was moved to tears when Sarah Shourd was released, and I continue to be moved every time she speaks out for Josh and Shane. In fact, Sarah's continued work to free Josh and Shane embodies all of the qualities we revere during Navroz: a willingness to forgive, an inextinguishable sense of hope, and a deep appreciation for all of the things that unite us rather than divide us. It is my deepest, deepest wish that the Iranian authorities will mark this Navroz by extending the same compassion to Josh Fattal and Shane Bauer that they did for Sarah Shourd, by releasing them on humanitarian grounds. 

This is the Sea - The Waterboys

These things you keep
You'd better throw them away
You wanna turn your back
On your soulless days
Once you were tethered
And now you are free
Once you were tethered
Well now you are free
That was the river
This is the sea!

Now if you're feelin' weary
If you've been alone too long
Maybe you've been suffering from
A few too many
Plans that have gone wrong
And you're trying to remember
How fine your life used to be
Running around banging your drum
Like it's 1973
Well that was the river
This is the sea!
Wooo!

Now you say you've got trouble
You say you've got pain
You say've got nothing left to believe in
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing to trust
Nothing but chains
You're scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
Scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
But that was the river
This is the sea yeah!

Now i can see you wavering
As you try to decide
You've got a war in your head
And it's tearing you up inside
You're trying to make sense
Of something that you just can't see
Trying to make sense now
And you know you once held the key
But that was the river
And this is the sea!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Now i hear there's a train
It's coming on down the line
It's yours if you hurry
You've got still enough time
And you don't need no ticket
And you don't pay no fee
No you don't need no ticket
You don't pay no fee
Because that was the river
And this is the sea!

Behold the sea!

500 DAYS without FREEDOM

I am stunned that after 500 DAYS of fighting with ALL our might, Josh and Shane remain unjustly imprisoned in Iran. 


For 500 DAYS I have not been able to see Josh. For 500 DAYS I have not been able to speak to Josh. For 500 DAYS I have not been able to write to Josh...Not one of the letters I have written and sent has been given to him. 


So on DAY 500 I am posting this letter to Josh in the hopes that it circles the globe and reaches Josh in spirit. 

Dearest Josh, 

I am so deeply sorry for everything you are going through. When I first heard, I wanted to pull you out with my own two hands. When I couldn't do that, I put my hands to constant work to free you. My hands type on email, facebook and twitter, in letters, blog posts, and articles to free you. 

My hands make films and banners and bring people around the world together to free you. My hands hold your hand, Shane's hand, Alex's hand, your mom's hand, your dad's hand, Sarah's hand, Shane's family's hands, our students' hands, and our now mutual friends' hands in our joint fight for your freedom. We will keep fighting every moment that it takes until you are free and with us again. We feel you with us always and I hope with all my heart that you can feel us with you. 

So much love, 

Farah

Haunted

For 16 months I struggled to find words to describe how it feels to have someone I love held illegally in an Iranian prison. On the eve of month 17 one word came to me, one word that captures my feelings.

Haunted.

I am haunted. 

I have been haunted for 497 days.

Haunted by images. 
Haunted by thoughts. 
Haunted by feelings.

Haunted by the thought of Josh held captive. 

Haunted by the image of his blindfolded eyes.

Haunted by the feeling of his stifled voice.

Haunted by the thought of Sarah, and now Shane and Josh 
feeling they lost everyone and everything they love 

without knowing when they will get it back.

Songs soothe my haunted spirit.

I need the beat to keep my heart beating when it wants to stop.

I need the lyrics to express feelings impossible to describe. 

I need the melody to sing when there are no words. 

Sarah’s song is especially soothing…because she knows the pain.

Sarah’s voice is especially powerful…because it was silenced for 410 days.

I wake up every morning singing 
“When I get out of this, I'll never lock anything inside. 
Take all my friends for a walk down by the oceanside"

Synchronicity Gives Me Strength

Yesterday I felt the weight of the continued unjust imprisonment of Josh and Shane more acutely than ever before. I was thinking about how grateful I am for having Josh in my life. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have had so much precious time living with Josh. He was fully present with me, fully there for me, on so many levels, on our journey together. From being there to carry whatever I asked of him to being there to carry the weight of my emotional struggles. He lightened my load. Thinking about his presence makes his absence feel even more profound. And I wish I could lighten his load.

My greatest source of strength is the synchronicity I have continued to feel with him, and our shared IHP community, throughout our separation. The synchronicity that has now expanded to include his brother Alex, recently freed Sarah, his friend and prison-mate Shane, other former and current political prisoners, and our continuously growing community of supporters.  Despite the geographical distance between us, there are so many times when Alex senses what I feel and responds before I can even communicate in words, so many times when he feels exactly what I feel. I couldn’t get through this without him.

Nor could I get through it without the incredible family, friends and supporters of Sarah, Shane and Josh who have come together in a strong web of support that carries me through the quagmire. Then there are the former political prisoners - Eric Volz, Roxana Saberi, Laura Ling – who know just what to say and exactly when. And other current political prisoners who I feel connected with more deeply than I thought possible. As an Iranian colleague so eloquently expressed in describing Iranian people’s perspective of Sarah, Shane and Josh, “Their story is our story.”

So perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by the synchronicity between Sarah, Shane and Josh and all of us. From the start of our campaign to free them, I could feel Sarah, Shane and Josh with me as I directed campaign social media and organized global action. Keeping the campaign true to them, even without being able to have their direct input, was critical to me. I worked at feeling connected to them despite not being able to communicate with them in person, by phone, by letter or online. I built our twitter support base by spending time embodying each of Sarah, Shane and Josh and following and reaching out to people and organizations I was sure they would each support if they could. Safe World for Women was a key organization I was certain Sarah would support, and I hoped they in turn would connect with and support her. They felt such a strong connection to Sarah that they have fought for her freedom and that of Shane and Josh with compassion and energy beyond my wildest dreams. Hearing that they recently spoke to Sarah directly filled my heart with the joy of a circle of synchronicity complete.  

Last week I met Sarah for the first time. I was preoccupied for days beforehand, sensing the power of meeting when our connection felt so strong throughout her imprisonment. A connection I felt because of how much we have in common in our personal and professional lives, how much I felt she was like me. And a connection borne from 14 months of fighting for her freedom, fighting for her life. Powerful is not strong enough a word to describe our meeting. She greeted me as if she knew that I would be amazed to see her in the flesh. And I was. Stunned. I had to squeeze her arms multiple times just to assure myself that she really was there right in front of me. That she really was free. After such an incredibly long, hard fight, it’s still hard to believe.  At the same time, being faced with the preciousness of Sarah’s life and spirit that we freed fills me with gratitude beyond belief and reinforces the significance and necessity of our ongoing fight for Shane and Josh.

Once I absorbed that Sarah really was there with me, we started talking and didn't stop for hours. We kept interrupting each other because the feelings we were sharing were resonating so deeply. She confirmed for me what I have been sure of all along - we have been connected despite the many barriers Iranian authorities have tried to put between us. There are so many parallels between the experiences and feelings of Sarah, Shane and Josh on the 'other side' of those seemingly insurmountable walls and ours on 'this side'. There are so many examples of us knowing what they are feeling and vice versa, so many examples of us communicating across the abyss. We are two rivers of life, with intertwined tributaries, flowing alongside each other. Our rivers will meet and converge into the crashing waves of an ocean of collective emotion when Shane and Josh are freed. 

JOSH FATTAL: 444 DAYS IN IRAN...AND COUNTING

This is a film about Josh Fattal, that I put my heart and soul into making, with the INvaluable inspiration of Josh and Alex Fattal, INvaluable help of Producer Stephanie McCabe, INvaluable footage from Yogeeta Manglani and INvaluable photos and quotes from Josh's beloved family and friends. Many of the photos and quotes are from Josh & my former students - after spending 4 months traveling the world together we are all heart broken that he continues to suffer such grave injustice. Not only did Josh do nothing wrong, but he is such a good force in our world - one that we desperately need back continuing to make it a better place. Continuing to make our lives better lives.  May this film help bring him home to us soon. We love you Josh!


Here is the official description of the film:

This is a Free the Hikers film about Josh Fattal, still unjustly detained in Iran along with Shane Bauer. No matter where Josh is, his interest in his environs combined with his kind and thoughtful nature provoke a deep sense of admiration from others. The film contains footage, photos and quotations from Josh's loved ones in an attempt to begin to capture the extraordinary person he is. It starts with letters to him from his family, his roots, and continues to share reflections from childhood and university friends. It then gives a glimpse into how much he was valued as a colleague and friend at Aprovecho Research and Education Centre. The majority of the film shares Josh's journey as the Teaching Fellow on the International Honors Program Health and Community Study Abroad Program. The intense journey took Josh to Switzerland, India, China, and South Africa from Jan-May 2009 with 33 students, 3 co-faculty, and multiple country partners. We hope that sharing this will help to speed his return to us and allow him to resume his journey. See www.freethehikers.org for more information.

Dear Sarah, Shane & Josh - My Hope for You

Dear Sarah, Shane and Josh,

I think of you this morning, light a candle for each of you around my hope stone. I hold hope for your prompt release every moment of every day. I speak for you, I fight for you every moment of every day. I hope you are able to feel that energy and know that you are not alone. There are hands around the world joining together to surround you in one big circle of love. I hope you are able to feel that immense love with you always. I hope it gives you peace and comfort. I hope it brings you home to us soon. Very very soon.

Love,
Farah

One Year Free the Hikers Reflections in TORONTO

On August 1, we held a Free the Hikers benefit concert in Toronto to mark one year of unjust detainment in Iran for 'American Hikers', Sarah, Shane and Josh. I spoke at the start of the event and share my words with you here:

"Yesterday marks one year since Josh, a precious brother to me, and his friends Sarah and Shane, now known as the 'US Hikers', were captured and detained by Iranian authorities.  Today marks one year since I felt compelled to post a photo online that I took of Josh hiking in South Africa. Tomorrow marks one year since I found out about Josh’s capture and detainment from Shannon, one of our 33 students on the International Honors Program’s Health and Community Program.  Josh and I taught together on that program, while traveling in Switzerland, India, China and South Africa with our students over a period of four months.  During that time we lived together, worked together, learned together, and most importantly laughed together.  Throughout that period Josh was by my side, supporting me practically and emotionally.  

Tuesday marks one year since I first tracked down Josh’s older brother Alex to say:

Hi Alex - I just heard about Josh and wanted to connect with you. We met in Boston just before the IHP journey - I was one of the traveling faculty on the journey and Josh is a younger brother to me. I am trying to think of anything I can do to ensure his safety - I would love to hear about anything you are doing that I can help with. I'm also contacting friends and family of mine who might have advice.

I hope you and your family are hanging in there - and that Josh is as well as possible.  Please feel free to contact me via facebook, email, phone or Skype. 

Farah

That’s how my central role in Free the Hikers campaign began. It has felt like an intense inescapable never-ending crisis from the very moment it began and Alex and I, along with family members, friends, their lawyer and supporters around the world, have put in every ounce of energy we possibly can to gain their release.  We have collected photos and testimonials from family, friends, and prominent public figures around the world. We have built websites and blogs, launched facebook, twitter, and youtube accounts. We have held vigils, benefits and solidarity hikes around the world, with growing support by the day. As I speak to you our facebook support has just surpassed the 17000 mark, with 1000 new supporters within just the past few days.  And this past weekend supporters around the world have spoken out in a strong, collective global call for the immediate release of Sarah, Shane and Josh. I have just returned from a New York City protest outside the Iranian Mission to the UN with all three moms, Josh’s brother Alex, Josh’s grandparents, numerous extended family members, numerous former students of Josh and I and many many campaign supporters, including the cars, trucks and fire engines who honked and flashed us peace signs of support as they drove by us through Manhattan.  Throughout the weekend we have been receiving photos and reports of more than 30 one year events across the US and around the world.  Duluth, LA, San Francisco, Eugene, Seattle, Vancouver, London, Paris, Delhi…and many many more.  Tonight we close our one year Weekend of Action here in Toronto with all of you. A weekend we hope is the weekend that finally brings Sarah, Shane and Josh home. 

We all know what incredible people Sarah, Shane and Josh are – they are the rare kind of people who integrate their values into their every action, every communication.  I was thrilled to hear that President Obama knows that about Sarah, Shane and Josh. On Friday he stated:

They are simply open-minded and adventurous young people who represent the best of America, and of the human spirit. They are teachers, artists, and advocates for social and environmental justice.

 

It is almost impossible for me to believe that despite all our support around the world, we are still here a year later fighting with all our might for their release.  I started writing Josh a letter last week “Dear Josh, things are falling into place for one year events around the world. The only thing missing is you.”  It is so difficult to describe the feeling of mobilizing people around the world for Sarah, Shane and Josh, without Sarah, Shane and Josh physically with us.  We have to keep our energy and momentum up while our hearts break a little more every moment longer they are held.

I’d like to close by reading this poem by Seitlhamo Motsapi, a South African poet, that a former student of Josh and I discovered when we were all in Cape Town.  The students were so moved by it that they all wrote it in their journals.  And now it captures for us this experience that only a poet could capture so well in words.

tenda

i look at you

& you remind me of all the mountains

i haven't seen or embraced

& since you are like every one of us

you rise out of my heart

with the craggy serenity of kilimanjaro

enduring like prophecies

peaceful like distances

since you are like all of us

eternal like every river

even when the sea claims us

for me you carry affirmations

a sprout in the parch, a mend in the rend

water from an ancient well

& since every one of us

carries the seeds of a storm within him

since the mountains come to rest

in the breast of every one of us

beginning the long journey across the desert

since the forests & the skies & the faces of children

overflow with lessons of love

for all to learn

i will always remember you

& your face that is the end of all roads

poetry will never travel

i will remember you

when i have learned the rustle of rivers

when i have learned the inconvenient gestures of compassion

when i have learned to be infinitely present

& yet invisible like the sky

Thank you to all of you for being present and compassionate tonight.

…and a special thanks to my favourite cousin Salina, my other favourite cousin Shazia, my dedicated friend and colleague Deqa, committed campaign supporters Stephanie, Jup, Gurbeen, Reena, Jess, and the many volunteers who made tonight happen."