Haunted

For 16 months I struggled to find words to describe how it feels to have someone I love held illegally in an Iranian prison. On the eve of month 17 one word came to me, one word that captures my feelings.

Haunted.

I am haunted. 

I have been haunted for 497 days.

Haunted by images. 
Haunted by thoughts. 
Haunted by feelings.

Haunted by the thought of Josh held captive. 

Haunted by the image of his blindfolded eyes.

Haunted by the feeling of his stifled voice.

Haunted by the thought of Sarah, and now Shane and Josh 
feeling they lost everyone and everything they love 

without knowing when they will get it back.

Songs soothe my haunted spirit.

I need the beat to keep my heart beating when it wants to stop.

I need the lyrics to express feelings impossible to describe. 

I need the melody to sing when there are no words. 

Sarah’s song is especially soothing…because she knows the pain.

Sarah’s voice is especially powerful…because it was silenced for 410 days.

I wake up every morning singing 
“When I get out of this, I'll never lock anything inside. 
Take all my friends for a walk down by the oceanside"