This is the Sea - The Waterboys

These things you keep
You'd better throw them away
You wanna turn your back
On your soulless days
Once you were tethered
And now you are free
Once you were tethered
Well now you are free
That was the river
This is the sea!

Now if you're feelin' weary
If you've been alone too long
Maybe you've been suffering from
A few too many
Plans that have gone wrong
And you're trying to remember
How fine your life used to be
Running around banging your drum
Like it's 1973
Well that was the river
This is the sea!
Wooo!

Now you say you've got trouble
You say you've got pain
You say've got nothing left to believe in
Nothing to hold on to
Nothing to trust
Nothing but chains
You're scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
Scouring your conscience
Raking through your memories
But that was the river
This is the sea yeah!

Now i can see you wavering
As you try to decide
You've got a war in your head
And it's tearing you up inside
You're trying to make sense
Of something that you just can't see
Trying to make sense now
And you know you once held the key
But that was the river
And this is the sea!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Now i hear there's a train
It's coming on down the line
It's yours if you hurry
You've got still enough time
And you don't need no ticket
And you don't pay no fee
No you don't need no ticket
You don't pay no fee
Because that was the river
And this is the sea!

Behold the sea!

500 DAYS without FREEDOM

I am stunned that after 500 DAYS of fighting with ALL our might, Josh and Shane remain unjustly imprisoned in Iran. 


For 500 DAYS I have not been able to see Josh. For 500 DAYS I have not been able to speak to Josh. For 500 DAYS I have not been able to write to Josh...Not one of the letters I have written and sent has been given to him. 


So on DAY 500 I am posting this letter to Josh in the hopes that it circles the globe and reaches Josh in spirit. 

Dearest Josh, 

I am so deeply sorry for everything you are going through. When I first heard, I wanted to pull you out with my own two hands. When I couldn't do that, I put my hands to constant work to free you. My hands type on email, facebook and twitter, in letters, blog posts, and articles to free you. 

My hands make films and banners and bring people around the world together to free you. My hands hold your hand, Shane's hand, Alex's hand, your mom's hand, your dad's hand, Sarah's hand, Shane's family's hands, our students' hands, and our now mutual friends' hands in our joint fight for your freedom. We will keep fighting every moment that it takes until you are free and with us again. We feel you with us always and I hope with all my heart that you can feel us with you. 

So much love, 

Farah

Haunted

For 16 months I struggled to find words to describe how it feels to have someone I love held illegally in an Iranian prison. On the eve of month 17 one word came to me, one word that captures my feelings.

Haunted.

I am haunted. 

I have been haunted for 497 days.

Haunted by images. 
Haunted by thoughts. 
Haunted by feelings.

Haunted by the thought of Josh held captive. 

Haunted by the image of his blindfolded eyes.

Haunted by the feeling of his stifled voice.

Haunted by the thought of Sarah, and now Shane and Josh 
feeling they lost everyone and everything they love 

without knowing when they will get it back.

Songs soothe my haunted spirit.

I need the beat to keep my heart beating when it wants to stop.

I need the lyrics to express feelings impossible to describe. 

I need the melody to sing when there are no words. 

Sarah’s song is especially soothing…because she knows the pain.

Sarah’s voice is especially powerful…because it was silenced for 410 days.

I wake up every morning singing 
“When I get out of this, I'll never lock anything inside. 
Take all my friends for a walk down by the oceanside"

Synchronicity Gives Me Strength

Yesterday I felt the weight of the continued unjust imprisonment of Josh and Shane more acutely than ever before. I was thinking about how grateful I am for having Josh in my life. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have had so much precious time living with Josh. He was fully present with me, fully there for me, on so many levels, on our journey together. From being there to carry whatever I asked of him to being there to carry the weight of my emotional struggles. He lightened my load. Thinking about his presence makes his absence feel even more profound. And I wish I could lighten his load.

My greatest source of strength is the synchronicity I have continued to feel with him, and our shared IHP community, throughout our separation. The synchronicity that has now expanded to include his brother Alex, recently freed Sarah, his friend and prison-mate Shane, other former and current political prisoners, and our continuously growing community of supporters.  Despite the geographical distance between us, there are so many times when Alex senses what I feel and responds before I can even communicate in words, so many times when he feels exactly what I feel. I couldn’t get through this without him.

Nor could I get through it without the incredible family, friends and supporters of Sarah, Shane and Josh who have come together in a strong web of support that carries me through the quagmire. Then there are the former political prisoners - Eric Volz, Roxana Saberi, Laura Ling – who know just what to say and exactly when. And other current political prisoners who I feel connected with more deeply than I thought possible. As an Iranian colleague so eloquently expressed in describing Iranian people’s perspective of Sarah, Shane and Josh, “Their story is our story.”

So perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised by the synchronicity between Sarah, Shane and Josh and all of us. From the start of our campaign to free them, I could feel Sarah, Shane and Josh with me as I directed campaign social media and organized global action. Keeping the campaign true to them, even without being able to have their direct input, was critical to me. I worked at feeling connected to them despite not being able to communicate with them in person, by phone, by letter or online. I built our twitter support base by spending time embodying each of Sarah, Shane and Josh and following and reaching out to people and organizations I was sure they would each support if they could. Safe World for Women was a key organization I was certain Sarah would support, and I hoped they in turn would connect with and support her. They felt such a strong connection to Sarah that they have fought for her freedom and that of Shane and Josh with compassion and energy beyond my wildest dreams. Hearing that they recently spoke to Sarah directly filled my heart with the joy of a circle of synchronicity complete.  

Last week I met Sarah for the first time. I was preoccupied for days beforehand, sensing the power of meeting when our connection felt so strong throughout her imprisonment. A connection I felt because of how much we have in common in our personal and professional lives, how much I felt she was like me. And a connection borne from 14 months of fighting for her freedom, fighting for her life. Powerful is not strong enough a word to describe our meeting. She greeted me as if she knew that I would be amazed to see her in the flesh. And I was. Stunned. I had to squeeze her arms multiple times just to assure myself that she really was there right in front of me. That she really was free. After such an incredibly long, hard fight, it’s still hard to believe.  At the same time, being faced with the preciousness of Sarah’s life and spirit that we freed fills me with gratitude beyond belief and reinforces the significance and necessity of our ongoing fight for Shane and Josh.

Once I absorbed that Sarah really was there with me, we started talking and didn't stop for hours. We kept interrupting each other because the feelings we were sharing were resonating so deeply. She confirmed for me what I have been sure of all along - we have been connected despite the many barriers Iranian authorities have tried to put between us. There are so many parallels between the experiences and feelings of Sarah, Shane and Josh on the 'other side' of those seemingly insurmountable walls and ours on 'this side'. There are so many examples of us knowing what they are feeling and vice versa, so many examples of us communicating across the abyss. We are two rivers of life, with intertwined tributaries, flowing alongside each other. Our rivers will meet and converge into the crashing waves of an ocean of collective emotion when Shane and Josh are freed. 

JOSH FATTAL: 444 DAYS IN IRAN...AND COUNTING

This is a film about Josh Fattal, that I put my heart and soul into making, with the INvaluable inspiration of Josh and Alex Fattal, INvaluable help of Producer Stephanie McCabe, INvaluable footage from Yogeeta Manglani and INvaluable photos and quotes from Josh's beloved family and friends. Many of the photos and quotes are from Josh & my former students - after spending 4 months traveling the world together we are all heart broken that he continues to suffer such grave injustice. Not only did Josh do nothing wrong, but he is such a good force in our world - one that we desperately need back continuing to make it a better place. Continuing to make our lives better lives.  May this film help bring him home to us soon. We love you Josh!


Here is the official description of the film:

This is a Free the Hikers film about Josh Fattal, still unjustly detained in Iran along with Shane Bauer. No matter where Josh is, his interest in his environs combined with his kind and thoughtful nature provoke a deep sense of admiration from others. The film contains footage, photos and quotations from Josh's loved ones in an attempt to begin to capture the extraordinary person he is. It starts with letters to him from his family, his roots, and continues to share reflections from childhood and university friends. It then gives a glimpse into how much he was valued as a colleague and friend at Aprovecho Research and Education Centre. The majority of the film shares Josh's journey as the Teaching Fellow on the International Honors Program Health and Community Study Abroad Program. The intense journey took Josh to Switzerland, India, China, and South Africa from Jan-May 2009 with 33 students, 3 co-faculty, and multiple country partners. We hope that sharing this will help to speed his return to us and allow him to resume his journey. See www.freethehikers.org for more information.

Fragments of bridges

Geographic places

Emotional spaces

Fragments of bridges

Bringing you close to me

And then breaking

Into smaller fragments

As the days go by

With no word

From you to me

Or me to you

How to bring those

Fragments together

And bring you back whole?

Dear Sarah, Shane & Josh - My Hope for You

Dear Sarah, Shane and Josh,

I think of you this morning, light a candle for each of you around my hope stone. I hold hope for your prompt release every moment of every day. I speak for you, I fight for you every moment of every day. I hope you are able to feel that energy and know that you are not alone. There are hands around the world joining together to surround you in one big circle of love. I hope you are able to feel that immense love with you always. I hope it gives you peace and comfort. I hope it brings you home to us soon. Very very soon.

Love,
Farah